You Were Never Honest (The Never Series Book 2) Page 10

  “Mrs. Hutchinson, why are you telling me all of this?” I ask, I’m trying to connect the dots but it isn’t making any sense.

  “Because you are intelligent and gifted and I am concerned that this will stifle you, he shouldn’t be sitting his exams come Summer but my hands are tied. I know I put this onto you, but if your grades start to slip, I will put a halt to all of this.” Damn, does she want him to fail, I thought this school hated bad press, they’re so strict that everyone must pass with a grade C or higher. Why would she want him to fail or be held back?

  “Will he be held back if that occurs?” I ask, acting as though the answer will mean very little to me, either way.

  “I believe so, it may be the best course of action,” she replies, with a deep and heavy sigh.

  I follow Benjy and Harrison into a private study room and he gives me a device to contact him on, just in case. Just in case what, is something going to happen, should I be worried?

  “I bet you jumped at this didn’t you, couldn’t wait to be perfect little Miss, doing her good deed and proving that she is the universe’s gift to us mere mortals.” Sarcasm and anger, can he feel any other emotions or is this all he has in him? Although I can’t forget the hate either can I, maybe three emotions then.

  “Hang on a second, you actually think I want to be stuck in this room with you three days a week. This is far from fun for me, I’m just trying to do the right thing,” I reply, rolling my eyes and shaking my head in mock despair.

  “As if you know what the right thing is,” he mumbles, and he gets my back up instantly, must be his special gift.

  I am so done with talking to him, I’m just going to get started and he can either pay attention and let me help him or he can fail, it doesn’t bother me which option he chooses.

  I’m putting his textbook on the table in front of him, as well as a notebook and a pen and pencil. His stare is so hard I’m surprised it's not drilling a hole through the wood.

  I’m explaining what we need to cover and it’s clear to see he’s not paying any attention to me, his loss not mine.

  Eight

  It continues for the next two weeks, I’m talking and he’s doing whatever he can to not take me seriously. Mrs. Hutchinson is asking what’s going on and I keep saying I have everything under control but I’m lying through my teeth. I don’t want him to fail but what else can I do, I can’t get through his thick skull to make him see that he does in fact need my help.

  “There isn’t anything you can do, if he fails that’s his fault not yours” says Noah as I lay curled up on his lap.

  “I know my sweet, but there must be something I can do, surely? I can’t let him fail, not if I can stop it from happening,” I reply and he’s smiling at me, before his mouth is on mine and his fingers are curling around my hips.

  Damn, this is my new favourite thing to do. I’m pushing up onto my knees and slide one over his legs until I’m straddling him. He moans into my mouth as my hands travel under his top and up to his chest, his own hands are travelling up my sides until he’s pulling me closer so our chests are flush against one another.

  “Noah,” I gasp out and he responds by kissing down my neck and running his tongue along my collarbone, oh my gawd that feels so good.

  “Henleigh, what are we doing?” he asks, pulling back slightly and I drag my hips back drawing out another moan from him.

  “Do we have to think about everything?” I ask in return, dragging my mouth across his neck and biting gently.

  He’s suddenly standing and I’m wrapping my legs around his waist, he’s hard against me and I’m equal parts excited and terrified. He’s laying me down gently on his bed and we start undressing, I am not dragging this out he might change his mind.

  He’s looking down at me as though I’m some piece of exquisite art, he’s taking me in and I can’t help but squirm.

  “You really are beautiful,” he says and I can't help but smile up at him.

  “You’re overdressed” I say with a smirk, running my hand over his tented boxers, he looks shy as he pulls his boxers down and yeah, I’m scared.

  He’s big, and I can’t understand how it will fit, oh damn Noah you’ve been holding back on me for sure.

  He runs his fingers through my folds, teasing me before sliding a finger inside me. It feels so good but it’s sensation overload as his mouth closes around my clit and I can’t help but thread my fingers through his hair.

  He’s amazing and my legs are quaking as he brings me to the edge, and I fall into sweet oblivion and then he’s pulling away and climbing up my body.

  “You sure?” he asks.

  “I’ve never been surer about anything in my life, I need you Noah,” I say before he slides on a condom and then he’s holding himself in his hand and lining himself up with me.

  He’s pushing in slowly and even though it hurts for a moment it's soon replaced with a pleasure that I’ve never experienced before in my life. After pushing himself all the way inside he holds himself in place, I love that he’s waiting for me to adjust but I need him to move.

  “Noah,” I moan as he pulls himself out before sliding himself back in, he does this over and over again as my moans grow louder and they’re soon joined by his.

  I lift my feet until they’re pushing against his arse and he starts moving faster, I’m getting close and I think he may be as well. It isn’t long before we find our release and our eyes remained locked the entire time. This is the closest I have ever felt with him or anyone for that matter and when he says he loves me I feel it all the way to my soul, whatever happens I will never let him go.

  We made love two more times last night, it just kept on getting better, and I’m sore and tired but it's the kind that is making me smile instead of grumpy. They’re nothing more than reminders of what we did last night and I’m never going to forget it.

  I just can’t stop smiling but it’s not helping things with Harrison, he’s still being a dick and my happiness is making him even worse.

  “Can you stop smiling you silly little bitch,” he bites out and I can’t do anything but stare at him with my mouth hanging open.

  “Excuse me, I do not deserve that,” I reply, I’m finding my composure I will not be dragged down to his level.

  “No, you deserve a lot worse.” Of course I do, because he’s appointed himself as the weigher of my countless sins.

  “You know what, I don’t need this. I can stop anytime I want, Hutchy has already confirmed that,” I say, making it clear I am not bluffing. I don’t expect a thank you but a little decency would not go amiss.

  “Well then, why don’t you?” he asks.

  “Because you will be held back for two years, don’t you understand that. I get nothing from this H, except for your constant abuse.” Throwing my hands in the air and raising my voice gets nothing more than a raised brow, but I couldn’t care any less right now. I am only aiming to tell the truth, I won’t bury myself under lies like everyone else always seems to do. “I’m only doing this for you, because you do not deserve to fail, especially if I can prevent it.”

  “I didn’t know, hang on did you just call me H? Have you called me that before?” he asks, giving me this strange look.

  “No of course not, it just slipped out,” I say quietly, shit I was not supposed to say that.

  “Right okay, don’t give me a nickname yeah. My friends don’t get to so why should you?” His animosity rolls through me like a current of energy, strong enough to be noticed but not enough to cause any lasting damage.

  “Wow, you mean someone actually likes you?” Sarcasm for the win.

  He gives me this strange smile before pointing to the books, I know I look like a moron but what does he want me to do? Has he finally changed his attitude and will now let me help him.

  “I don’t want to stay here for another two years, plus the sooner I catch up the more rehab I can do,” and that’s the last personal thing he says as we get stuck into our wo
rk, thank fuck he’s smart. It’s really easy to tutor him when he applies himself.

  This could work, this won’t make up for my misdeeds but maybe it's a way to show him that I’m not evil incarnate. It would be great if I could get rid of at least one of my haters, we’ll never be friends but acquaintances never hurt.

  Halloween is fast approaching and everyone I know is leaving for a week, Dad can’t make it down and he didn’t even ask me to come home this time. I’m not sure if I’m relieved, hurt or a mixture of the two.

  Noah feels bad for leaving me but I think it’s a good thing, it gives me a chance to be alone and finally figure out what I’m going to do about Amias.

  I feel like crying as I wave them away, but I refuse to be a sappy sod, it’s only a week for crying out loud. Besides, there’s a fitness centre, a massive library and some great places to practise my photography. I am well and truly set.

  I think I’m going to go for a run and decide whether I should ring Mattias to see if he’s discovered anything or wait for him to get back first.

  I always feel so free when I run, like nothing can keep me down. But she’ll never feel this way, I am so sorry Rebecca. I come to a dead stop as I let the tears fall, no one will see me and I don’t care that the ground is damp as I fall down to my knees and cry into my hands.

  “Henleigh are you okay?”

  I must have jumped a foot off the ground, what is Benjy doing here? I thought he’d leave when Harrison... did. Hang on, Harrison did leave. Right?

  “I’m fine, really,” I say trying to hide the proof of my lie and his arched brow is screaming at how much I’m failing at that right now.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” he asks and all I can do is shake my head and we both hear it at the same time, Harrison calling for him.

  “I better go, would you like to join us?” I appreciate the offer, truly I do. But a pity invite isn’t the kind of thing that dreams are made of and it only makes me feel worse.

  “I don’t think I’d be very welcome, but if he still wants to study over our week off, I’ll be in the library at our usual time,” I say, as I stand up and brush myself off before running in the opposite direction of wherever they were headed.

  I can’t believe he’s here, I wasn’t expecting it. His one chance to get out of studying with me and he didn’t take it, although Benjy may be putting him up to this.

  “What are we covering today?” he asks, and he’s almost civil.

  “It’s a holiday, why don’t you pick today,” I say as I turn our schedule face down.

  Blow me, is he smiling? No, surely not Harrison never smiles when I’m around unless it’s to be condescending or one of his typical ugly smiles that make me want to punch him. Which of course makes me feel guilty seeing as he’s in a wheelchair because he got punched.

  “History always fascinated me, but I think I’d like to do English today. It’s your favourite anyway and you may as well get some enjoyment whilst you're stuck with me.” Hang on, is he being serious. He wants to make this somewhat enjoyable for him, what the fuck is going on?

  “Whatever you want, also I’m going to be free around this time for the week. We could probably cover a lot of what you’ve missed if you’re up for it?” Why am I offering this, shut up Henleigh.

  “Sure why not, the more we cover the quicker we can end these sessions,” he replies and I feel at ease, I just don’t know why.

  We go over the facts from World War I and II, before I kick off our English lesson. However we soon start looking into things that have no relation to what we need to study. But it’s almost fun and I’m enjoying it, sure the company could be better but he seems to be in a good mood today and I’m counting this as a win.

  “I swear you calling me H sounded so familiar, why is that?” he asks suddenly and I don’t know how to respond.

  I can’t tell him that I visited him in the hospital or that I pretended to be his girlfriend so I could keep him company. He’ll want to know why and I’m not sure I completely understand the reason myself.

  “No idea, maybe someone has called you it before,” I say and he looks at me with narrowed eyes before shaking it off.

  “Why do you hate me so much? Is it really because I sat in your chair?” I know that can’t be the only reason and my tone screams how much I doubt it, but I have to ask. As my father always used to say, if you don’t ask you don’t get.

  His eyes shutter and his face grows dark, I shouldn’t have asked it’s just going to make him be a dick all over again.

  “Because I don’t like the person you are, I’ve judged your character and I’ve found it severely lacking. Nothing is going to change that, no matter how much you put on this act of being someone who cares and thinks of others.”

  “It’s not an act, don’t get me wrong I can be selfish and I’ve done some really bad things in my time but it doesn’t mean I’m a fake.” What is the best way to describe myself right now, I won’t wrap myself in tin foil and call myself silver, but I’m not as despicable as he seems to think. “This is me, I help people, I’m smart, I defend myself and those I care about and I make reckless decisions that sometimes I regret and wish I can change. But not all the time, sometimes it works out for the best,” I say and he doesn’t like my reply.

  “You won’t make me see you differently Henleigh, in my opinion you deserve nothing more than to suffer for the rest of your life. I guess it just won’t always be me that causes it.” Does that depress him, the fact that he won’t be the only one to make me miserable, what does that say about him.

  “I am suffering H, no moments of happiness will ever change that. I’m just trying to live, to survive and when I do get the chance to be happy, I cling to it and try to make it last for as long as I can. You want me to suffer, you never have to do anything to make it happen. Because my suffering can never end.”

  “Why were you crying?” he asks and I don’t see why he should get an answer.

  “You don’t care why I cried so don’t ask, let’s just study the wars for another half an hour and then I’m getting lunch.” I’m digging my head into the book, but I am not paying any attention to it. My mind is on shut down right now, I just can’t take any more in.

  We finish and nothing but relief is coursing through me and all I’m doing is retrieving my lunch and claiming my usual table. I can’t say I don’t feel shock as Benjy parks Harrison at the end next to me and then takes a seat for himself. I guess I won’t get a relaxing lunch to myself, but Benjy is a sweet guy and Harrison is relatively well behaved when he’s around so it’s not entirely unpleasant. Those clouds and their silver linings.

  Day three and it’s raining cats and dogs outside, if it carries on, I won’t even need to be inside to go swimming!

  I’m just swimming laps, changing my method with each lap, breaststroke, doggy paddle, backwards, forwards whichever one takes my fancy.

  “Hey, there’s my new favourite person,” calls Benjy as he wheels Harrison poolside.

  “When did I become your favourite?” I ask, trying not to smile, he really is a great guy.

  “When you offered to help me convince Harry here to get in the pool.” Batting eyelashes doesn’t really work for guys, especially fully grown men but he’s impossible to refuse and not smile at. I keep trying to remain stoic around him, but he just continues to take a sledgehammer to my crumbling walls.

  “Fuck off,” Harrison says, slapping his palms against the wheels.

  “I didn’t offer anything of the sort, Benjy, Benjy, Benjy. You’re making me rethink our friendship,” I say with a wink and he laughs wholeheartedly.

  “He’s eager to get back on his feet, but he needs to build strength up and he’s refusing to cooperate today.” His eyes are burning into the top of Harrison’s head, not that it has any effect on the stubborn, ungrateful git.

  “What’s the matter H, your ego feeling a little bruised?” I ask, I’m really not heartless but riling him up might actuall
y help here.

  “I told you not to call me that, no nicknames,” he screams.

  I’m getting used to his outbursts now, he’s always been cruel and screaming is just another part of that. Benjy keeps trying to tell me he doesn’t mean it, but he’s wrong. Harrison does mean to be vicious where I’m concerned, it’s just not bothering me at the moment.

  “Why don’t you come in here and make me? Come on mardy arse, the sooner you get out of that chair, the sooner my lovely friend over there can get back to his gorgeous kids.” A death glare for Harrison, check. Nothing but smiles for Benjy, yet another check. My task is complete, come on Harrison, get mad or even better, think of Benjy and the fact he can only see his kids through a live video on his phone.

  “As if I care about that,” he mumbles, but he still agrees to get in so maybe he does care a little.

  Benjy brings him back in his trunks but Harrison nearly loses it when he offers to get the hoist, “I don’t need a damn hoist, I can still use my legs.”

  “Oi,” I say, climbing out of the pool and walking over to his chair. I place my hands on both of his arm rests and lean over until we’re practically nose to nose.

  “Listen to me, you can scream and shout at me until your heart's content, but you show Benjy some respect. He wants you walking as much as you do, so do as you’re told and listen to the god damn expert.”

  I don’t move a muscle, staring right at him. He can scream right in my face for all I care, he needs the help and I'm not going to falter under his anger. Why do I even care?

  “Fine,” he breathes out through his clenched teeth, “I don’t want the hoist though,” he says and I can see how much he’s struggling with having to depend on someone else.

  “I can’t get you in there without it, health and safety would have a field day over that one,” Benjy says with a sympathetic look on his face.