You Were Never Honest (The Never Series Book 2) Page 15

  “Okay, now you’re bumming me out, shut up and sit down. We’re going to sit here and watch Jackass and have a great time laughing at their stupidity. No depressing thoughts for the rest of the day and that’s final.” Her smile is back in place, along with her carefree attitude. Despite her entire look screaming stay away or I’ll stab you, Roxie really does have the biggest heart out of all the girls I know.

  I give her a mock salute which she scowls at before we both burst out laughing, oh yes, definitely not letting go of her either. Everyone needs to have a Roxie in their life.

  Getting back to school is uneventful, everyone is still acting as though nothing has changed. Ivy doesn’t know that I overheard them and H still scowls at me whenever I walk past. That’s probably for the best, the countdown is still ticking away and what I did to Rebecca will soon be revealed. But so will someone else’s, I don’t know what that means and I hate that I’m curious to see what it is.

  We’re under strict preparation for our tests, the teachers are riding us hard and between studying and classes I’m barely getting anytime with my guys or girls. It’s horrible, I need some relaxing and I keep thinking about the hot tub. The only issue is, I’d rather go in the evening when no one is about. I just don’t feel safe to go, maybe I could convince one of the guys to come with me. I’ll tell them all and let them figure out who between themselves.

  Surprisingly no one argues when Amias jumps at the chance, maybe they think I’ve been physical with all of them but he’s the odd one out. And it’s not like we’ve been going at it like rabbits, even though I swear I’m constantly turned on since I lost it to Noah.

  Come on ten o’clock, hurry up so I can meet up with Amias and soak my weary bones. I pull out my swimsuit and hesitate to find a different one, it’s a tad more revealing than I was expecting but he’s seen me in my underwear so it isn’t that bad.

  Someone is knocking at my door but I won’t answer it until I hear his voice, I’m not taking any chances anymore. Besides, after tonight I’m exacting my revenge so I deserve a little TLC.

  “It’s me little cub,” and that’s all I need to hear to feel safe enough to open my door.

  “You ready to go?”

  “I sure am,” I reply as I thread my arm through his and walk silently to the fitness centre.

  No one is around, it’s like a ghost town but I like it. I’ve had enough of surprises and crowds, some alone time is exactly what I need even if my alone time includes Amias.

  We’re changed quickly, and he’s leading me into the private room with the key code, definitely won’t be disturbed now.

  I’m wasting absolutely no time in sinking into the hot water and Amias is quick to follow me. I have to make sure I keep my wrist out of the water, but what else are ledges for?

  “Are you ever going to tell me what happened to your wrist?” he asks, it’s funny how I find the darkness within him comforting.

  “Sure, when you tell me what was going on outside that club and who that guy was? Why would being harsh to me make someone else happy?” For once I’m trapping him with my stare, he wanted a lion I just don’t think he ever considered himself becoming my prey.

  “Don’t go there little cub, I don’t want to lie to you,” he says, and it’s sending anger coursing through me. How many more chances am I going to give him?

  “Then don’t lie, be straight with me Amias. All I want to know is who he was, why can’t you tell me?”

  “He’s a friend, kind of. I have this group of mates that I see whenever school goes on break, they were a little pissed off that I’ve been AWOL lately and it caused me and that arsehole to fight.” He looks almost despondent, like he would rather talk about anything else. This tells me one thing, his mates are related to Devon. I just wish I knew how he was connected to him. “They think I’m betraying them by choosing you, they’ve done a lot for me and I owe them. I’ve been trying to sort it out but it’s not working out in my favour at the moment.” He won’t look at me now and his body language is all wrong, he’s closing himself off, his legs are turned away and his arms are crossed tightly over his chest.

  “It doesn’t sound like a friendship to me, but I appreciate you telling me,” I reply but I know he wasn’t honest, not entirely.

  “Amias, will you hold me?” I ask as my heart falls apart, I know that I have to say goodbye.

  He scoots closer and wraps me in his arms, I don’t hesitate to press my mouth against his. I’m making it last for as long as I can, but it still has to end, and he sees the tears the moment I pull away.

  “No, little cub don’t,” there’s a begging quality to his tone and I think if he could outrun my words he would.

  “I’m sorry Amias, I can’t do this. I’ve tried to fight it for so long but I have to let you go,” I say, I stand up and climb out of the hot tub, my tears are falling harder and faster and there’s nothing I can do to make them relent.

  “I won’t let you go, come on Henleigh there is no reason for this. Surely you can feel how good we are together,” he jumps out of the hot tub and marches over to me.

  I’m backing away, but he keeps on pursuing me until I’m backed into a corner and he’s only inches away from me.

  “We’re good together but we’re not good for each other, we’ll only end up hurt and I’d rather it happen now than later on when I won’t be able to handle it. Let me go Amias,” I’m begging now, I knew I wouldn’t be strong enough, he needs to move before I do something stupid.

  “Never,” he says, lifting his chin up and burning his eyes into mine.

  “I hate you.” I spit out, filling it with as much vehemence as I can. He just smiles in return.

  “And I love you,” he’s now toe to toe with me and he’s chasing my tears with the pad of his thumb.

  “It’s over,” nothing but a whisper, I can’t manage anything more than that.

  “Okay,” he whispers back as he rests his forehead on mine.

  “We can’t survive on secrets and lies.”

  He pushes away, his face shutting down as he grits his teeth and clenches his jaw.

  “I haven’t lied to you,” he shouts, his voice resonating through the empty space.

  “Yes you have,” I shout back, my tears giving way for indignation.

  “When have I lied to you?”

  “More times than I can mention, I can’t trust you,” I scream it at him, walking closer until I can feel his angry pants of breath brushing across my hair.

  “Because you’re so perfect, with no secrets of your own. And you just lied to me,” his words throw me and my face must show my confusion because he continues, “you told me you hate me, unless you meant it. So what is it Henleigh, did you mean it or did you lie?”

  I knew I would do something I shouldn’t, but launching myself into his arms and kissing him hard enough I draw blood wasn’t quite what I was expecting.

  He growls in his throat as his hands go under my arse and my legs wrap around his waist, and my fingers pull roughly at the hair on the nape of his neck. It’s all falling apart and my control has well and truly gone. I slide down his body and we stumble and fall until we end up in the shower room. Man this private sanctuary has everything!

  He pushes me up against the wall and my hands slip inside his trunks, he lets out a guttural moan before his mouth drops onto my neck.

  “Henleigh,” he moans and my eyes flutter closed.

  His trunks fall to the floor as my back catches the shower control and water streams over us, he pulls at the string keeping my top up until that too, hits the wet floor.

  “Henleigh,” I put my finger to his mouth and shake my head, if I start thinking I’ll stop this and I don’t want to.

  I untie my bikini bottoms and it isn’t long before my legs are wrapped around his waist once more and he’s pushing himself in all the way to the hilt.

  I have one arm dangling over his shoulder trying to keep my cast dry and my other is curled around the back
of his neck.

  It’s hard, fast and eye rolling perfection. He has one hand on my breast and he’s tugging at my nipple hard, it should hurt but it just intensifies the pleasure. We come undone, with me pressed up against the wall of the shower and his mouth biting down on my neck. He slips free and I slide down his body, feeling like I’m nothing more than a puddle of goo.

  We sit on the floor with the water falling down on us and we stay here until the water starts to run cold. He helps me to put my swimsuit back on before wrapping me in a towel.

  “I still hate you,” I mumble and he gives me a sweet smile, “I know cub and I love you. I meant what I said, I’m not letting you go.”

  “I’m still ending it,” I say but I’m lacking conviction.

  “Of course, and I’m still refusing to accept it,” he replies as he scoops me in my arms and carries me back to his room.

  Twelve

  I feel awful, I’m sneaking out of his room and trying not to wake him. Yes, I’m a horrible, horrible person. I don’t know what to do.

  “What are you doing?” His voice stops me in my tracks, with my hand hovering over the doorknob.

  “Busted,” I say as I turn around to face him.

  He’s smirking at me with his arms folded behind his head, he looks relaxed, but I can tell it’s all an act. His eyes never lie.

  “I was trying to sneak out,” I say, and surely, I should get points for being honest.

  His smile tightens as he nods his head, clearly he already knew that. I’m just stating the obvious right now, aren’t I?

  “I see,” he says as he stands up and oh gawd. Where are his boxers? Does he always sleep naked, how did I not realise this last night.

  “I didn’t want to make a scene, and I was trying to avoid any awkwardness,” I say weakly.

  “Okay,” he steps closer, close enough to touch, but neither of us do.

  “Can you say something please,” It’s weak and feeble, but the silence is deafening. Never understood that until now, not only is it deafening, it's tearing at my resolve and making me feel helpless.

  “Oh, I’m sorry Henleigh, am I making this awkward for you?” His eyes flash and I can see his barely restrained anger getting ready to erupt and leave nothing but ash and tar in its wake.

  “Seriously, why are you being such an arse?” I ask, even though I do deserve this. Again, I am a horrible person.

  “You really have to ask, I thought you were the smart one Henleigh. You don’t sneak out in the morning after what we did in the shower last night, that is what I call an arsehole move. Now I know I’m not the good guy when it comes to your boyfriends, but even I wouldn’t do something like that to you. Well done Henleigh, you can go now.”

  His voice is cold, and I don’t like it, but if this is him accepting us being finished, then maybe it's for the best. It’s what I wanted. So, why does it hurt so bad?

  Elijah and Noah can’t understand why Amias isn’t sitting with us or why Roxie seems to hate Ivy worse than before. All me, guys. I’m not ready to tell them yet, I just want to suffer in my misery for a little while longer.

  “Are you kidding me?” Bella is nearly choking on her shock and my heart fills with ice when I look up to see Octavia sitting with Amias, her hands squeezing his arm.

  “What is he playing at, why hasn’t he told her to get lost?” Elijah asks, and he sounds pretty angry.

  “I’ve got to get out of here, I’ll see you later,” I say, the guys try to get up but I ask them to stay. I don’t want to be around them at the moment, they’re still his friends.

  I won’t look back at him, even as her laugh rings out across the room. People are looking between me and them and they can think what they like, this is all my fault. I broke up with him and hurt him more than I had wanted to, if this is how he wants to get even with me, then that’s his prerogative. I just won’t sit around and watch.

  Getting outside the canteen and my chest feels tight, I’m clutching it as a sob builds in my throat. I don’t care who’s around, I need to get out of here. I run down the hall and slam the double doors open, hitting someone in the process. Shit, my bad.

  “Damn it, Harrison, I’m sorry I didn’t see you there,” I say as I offer him my one good hand and he smacks it away as he gets to his feet.

  “What were you thinking? Pay a little more attention next time yeah.” His mouth is pinched at the edges as he scowls up at me, I think he’d step on me if he could. His entire being is screaming at me to leave him alone, I guess I should heed the warning.

  I’m nodding my head as I stand back up and start to walk past him, but his hand on my forearm stops me.

  “Are you about to cry?” Only he could ask a question like that and make it sound like a personal sacrifice.

  “You’re ram packed full of tact ain’t ya tough guy,” I say, dripping with sarcasm.

  “What happened?” He sounds pissed off, but his eyes are softening slightly.

  “Why do you care? I thought you revelled in my suffering, well at least you didn’t have to lift a finger this time,” I shout and I don’t know how to react as he tightens his hold on my arm and pulls me outside into the bitter cold.

  “Get off of me,” I jerk my arm free and nearly fall over but luckily, H keeps me steady before taking a step away.

  “It’s not as enjoyable as it used to be, right now I want to know why you look like your whole world is coming to an end. I don’t know why, and it's pissing me off that I care even a little.” He looks conflicted, only he could look angry and concerned and have it constrained in a tightly wound up package.

  “I ended it with Amias and now Octavia is all over him, I only wanted him to be honest with me like you were. Why couldn’t he tell me the truth, you did and we’re not even friends? He claims to love me, and he can lie to my face as easily as breathing,” my energy has gone, and Harrison is looking down at me with pity on his face. I hate pity.

  “Don’t let him get to you he isn’t worth it, but maybe you should ask yourself why someone like Amias would suddenly tolerate Octavia.” I have been wondering that thank you very much, clearly, he went for the first desperate hoebag he saw. “If it's purely to make you jealous, then you have nothing to worry about. Although maybe consider choosing a less petty guy for the next member of your weird arse harem.” An eye roll and a smirk with no joy behind it, he’s a mystery wrapped in an enigma and I’m dying to figure him out.

  “I’ll keep it in mind, I saw your sister you know, over Christmas?” Why did I say that, he looks shocked, I thought she would have told him.

  “That’s why she was harping on about forgiveness over Boxing Day, how did it go?”

  “I explained the events that led up to the worst decision of my life, hitting her and leaving her behind. Like I said to her, it wasn’t an excuse I just wanted her to know that I hadn’t set out to hurt or destroy anyone that night.” I find it harder to look at him than I did Rebecca, he feels more dangerous somehow. It doesn’t help that my voice is wavering and giving away how affected I am by seeing her.

  “I see.” He sounds like he doesn’t care but his face is all wrong, his mouth is pressed into a thin, tight line. His eyes a little wider than normal and his hand keeps clenching and unclenching. I think he wants to know what I said to her.

  “Would you like to know H, you’ve already sentenced me and I don’t expect this to change that but would you like to know what happened,” I don’t know why I’m offering this and sweat is rolling down my spine as my nerves rear their ugly head. But I’m holding my hand out to him and he takes it.

  I think his decision is as surprising to him as it is to me, we walk around the grounds near to the stables and I tell him everything that I said to Rebecca. He doesn’t let go of my hand and I don’t try to pull away, I think we’ll always call each other enemies. I’m just not sure I agree with it anymore.

  It doesn’t take long for March to hurry around, it's still cold outside but running keeps me wa
rm. Amias is still sitting with Octavia and apparently, she’s all over him, I can’t say for sure as I don’t eat in the canteen anymore.

  I told Ivy that I knew about her and Harrison and she’s trying to make it up to me, but I can’t be around her right now. I have revenge to enact and I need people I can trust in my corner, not someone who only fills me with doubts. I’ve also somehow ended up tutoring Harrison for his English, Hutchinson said it was the only thing he hadn’t caught up on. She seems to think I’m a miracle worker and the only person who can get him to pass.

  I never spent Valentine’s Day with anyone, I refuse to celebrate a day that was only created to give the stores more money. If I want to show someone I love them, I’ll do it when I choose, not just because it’s dictated by society. I guess I’m still feeling a little sore due to Amias, but I made it this way who else can I blame.

  “Earth to baby girl, are you sure you want to do this? It doesn’t really seem like the kind of thing you’d be into,” she says, looking at the plan I made to get back at Chelsea. First, I’ll take Finley, then her looks and lastly her reputation.

  “Oh, I’m sure. Don’t worry Roxie, it’s going to be fun,” I say, with a vicious smile on my lips, oh yes I’m going to enjoy this.

  We leave my room and she keeps watch as I duck inside Chelsea’s, this is going to be fun. The first thing I do is replace her soap for one that will stain her skin a tango orange. Her hair dye will turn her hair grey and that’s just for shits and giggles, I came here to plant evidence and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Today is the only time I will make an exception, I’ll be eating my lunch in the canteen.

  Now that it’s all set up, I text Mattias to see if he’s got what I asked for, and then I put one last thing in place. If it works not only, will she be grey, she may even have to shave it all off. Glue is such a horrible thing to get out of your hair, especially one that expands and sets once water gets onto it. I empty all of her other bottles of shampoo to ensure that she will have to wash her hair in this one.