You Were Never Honest (The Never Series Book 2) Page 4

  “Baby, stop thinking so hard,” he says as he releases my hands before he steps closer.

  He keeps doing this until I’m pushed up against his door and he’s so close I can feel his breath blowing against my face.

  “I know mum told you not to hurt me, but you’re worth all the pain,” his lips brush against mine and then his tongue is sliding against the seam of my lips.

  He’s devouring me the moment I give him entry, his tongue is twisting with mine and his fingers are bruising my hips. I really want to wrap my legs around his waist, but that could give him the wrong idea and my brain is already turning to mush.

  “Eli, I need to tell you something,” I say, pushing him back slightly and I hate myself so much right now.

  His face shutters, he’s bracing for a hard and painful impact. Why has he given me so much power over him? I don’t want to be the reason he’s either happy or sad.

  “Eli, I want to see if I’m ready to let someone in. And I hope you meant it when you said you could share cause right now, I want you and Noah. I feel something for you both and I won’t choose, not if I don’t have to.” I hope he won’t keep me waiting for a reply, because I feel like I’m burning from the inside out. The way I feel I wouldn’t even need a coat in a blizzard, the snow would surely melt on contact.

  I’m in his arms and he’s spinning me around as soon as I finish speaking. We’re both laughing until we’re dizzy and falling, he hits the floor and I land on top of him. It feels right having him beneath me, but nope not going there.

  I scramble back up to my feet and he’s smiling this huge smile.

  “The thing is Eli, I don’t want to be the thing that makes or breaks you. It’s too much, I struggle to keep myself afloat at times,” I say and his face sobers and he actually looks fairly serious, for him anyway.

  “I won’t do that to you Hen, but I won’t pretend that I’m not over the pissing moon right now. So does Noah and Amias know?” he asks, and I’m not going to lie to him.

  “Noah does, I’m just not sure how it will go with Amias yet. I don’t really think this would be something he wants to be a part of, I think I’ll just see where it goes where he’s concerned.” I’m trying to be serious, but I can’t stop staring at his mouth, I’m like a moth to a flame. Sure, it will burn and leave me ruined, but the pull is too strong to deny or even fight.

  We spend a few more minutes kissing, and reluctantly I have to pull away. I need to finish getting ready before breakfast and classes.

  It’s refreshing being in a class where no one hates my guts, the only Shepherds who were in my advanced classes were Harrison and he’s still in a coma and Finley, he’s not even returned yet. I know I sound like I’m happy about that, which I’m not, but it still feels nice to be ignored by the masses for once.

  Time seems to pass quicker than usual and it isn’t long before lunch time comes around, the entire canteen has gone deadly silent. Why is everyone looking at me? Oh no, what’s happened now?

  “Why don’t we eat outside,” says Noah as he, Elijah and Amias coming rushing toward me.

  “What’s happened now?” My eyes roll and I cross my arms over my chest as I take all three of them in. My life feels like some silly little drama on the tv. Just piling on the angst to keep the viewers entertained. Surely real life shouldn’t be like this?

  “Someone took pictures of you leaving Elijah’s room this morning, it’s all around the school and it won’t be long before a teacher sees it. You were looking dishevelled and your cheeks were flushed, maybe you should be more careful next time hey,” says Amias and my oh my, he is so pissed off by this.

  “It’s just a photo who cares?” I really can’t see the big deal about all of this.

  “Guess you made your choice, hey Henleigh,” the condescension is dripping from his tongue like poison. The sanctimonious arse.

  “Yeah she did, she decided not to choose. So, get on board or leave, I won’t have you upsetting her.” says Noah, as he wraps his arm around me.

  “You really are aiming to have every guy aren’t you, you dirty little slut. I’d keep clear if I were you, can’t be sure what she may give you,” says Octavia as she walks over to us and whips her hair over her shoulder, if looks could kill I’d die a thousand deaths right here and now.

  “Honey, you’re the one that opens your legs for every guy who even glances your way, so move along. Henleigh isn’t doing anything wrong,” Amias says, and it is surprising that he’s sticking up for me.

  “What is it with this girl, does she give the best blow jobs or something, because from where I’m standing, she’s like all the other cheap druggies out there,” she chooses that moment to walk away and her words won’t stop circling around in my mind.

  “Ignore her, we know you’re not like that and you’re definitely not a druggie,” Noah is trying to be sweet but his words are not reassuring me.

  Oh no, is this a sign of how they will react, if they can’t imagine me ever doing something like that. Is it because of me or because they have a deep aversion to it?

  My head is pounding, what is going on? Oh no, please don’t tell me I’m getting a migraine. There is no way I can face my classes like this, I can’t even move. The light isn’t even on, so why does it feel so bright in here. I need to stop groaning, it sounds like screaming to my ears and I swear to all that is out there. Whoever is knocking on my door needs to fuck off right now.

  “Henleigh are you in there?”

  I have no idea what I have grabbed from my bedside table, but it makes too much noise as it crashes into the wall. I can hear the doorknob moving and I just want everyone to go away and leave me to my misery, I do not cope well with being unwell. I can look after people perfectly, but when it comes to me, I am a total bitch.

  “Little cub, what’s wrong? Your door wasn’t even locked,” he sounds like he’s admonishing me and worrying about me at the same time.

  “Don’t little cub me,” I grit out as he lays his hand on my forehead.

  “Cub, you’re burning up. Is anything else wrong?”

  “Yeah, you won’t leave me alone,” why isn’t he getting the message?

  “I’ll be back soon,” he says, ignoring my question before he finally leaves and I’m quickly drifting back off to sleep.

  Ten minutes, that’s all I get before someone is holding my wrist and shoving something under my tongue.

  “What’s wrong with her, is she going to be okay?” His tone is frantic and I crack an eye open to see him worrying his bottom lip, Amias never does that.

  “It’s probably just a virus, but I’ll keep an eye on her. Her temperature is raised, but I’m not overly concerned at the moment. Get to class, she’ll be fine,” says some lady, probably the nurse.

  “I’m not leaving her you demented bint, and I don’t care what you and the principal have to say about it either. So, tell me how to help her, I may as well be useful.”

  “Quiet, please,” I’m begging, but I just hope they can hear me over the deafening noise of their damn voices.

  “Henleigh, can you tell me how you are feeling?” asks the nurse and I want to laugh and throw something sarcastic at her but I can’t.

  “Migraine, cold, tired, noise and light hurt and I feel sick,” that is all they are going to get out of me.

  The nurse is saying something to my warrior or traitor, they both feel fitting names for him. The door is opening, yay they are finally going away and leaving me in peace.

  So, why is my bed dipping? Oh please don’t touch me, everything hurts. I think I’m whimpering, but it seems to convince them to take their hand off of me. I want to cry out as I’m suddenly pulled to the side, but it feels nice once I’m settled against a warm chest and my hair is being stroked. Mmm this is nice, I can sleep now. I feel safe and wanted, there’s something wrong about this, but my head is working properly, oh well, I’ll figure it out later.

  I’m opening my eyes, why am I being held? Shouldn’t I be
in class, I feel really confused and my head hurts.

  “Hey little cub, how are you feeling?”

  “Not so loud please, my head is banging. What happened? Why are you here?” I ask, talking as quietly as I can and hoping he can work out what I’m saying.

  “After what happened yesterday, I wanted to make sure you were okay and to talk to you about the other guys.” He brushes the hair away from my brow, ignoring the way it tries to cling to my forehead. “But when I got here and knocked, there was this crash against the door so I came in, your phone is done for. Did you throw it at the door?” he asks and I can’t tell if he’s angry or amused, his tone is giving me mixed messages and I’m trying to recall what happened.

  “There was this loud noise, and I wanted it to go away, so I threw whatever I got my hand on first,” I’m mumbling as I clutch my head against the jackhammer that is going off in my skull. “Dad is going to kill me, can I go back to sleep please, I don’t feel so good.”

  “Of course you can, get some rest. Hopefully it will make you feel better.” He’s speaking softly and I can see how much his worry for me is wearing on him.

  “Okay but first, I need to go to the bathroom,” I mumble as my cheeks heat and I find it really hard to look at him as I say this and even he has to clear his throat. Though I suspect he’s trying not to laugh.

  I move slowly, but I can’t do this. My legs are wobbling, I don’t think I can make it in there on my own and I’m not going to ask for help to go to the bathroom. It’s humiliating.

  “Come on little cub, I don’t think you can make it on your own, I’ll take you.”

  “No you won’t, it's embarrassing,” I shriek out and he just smirks as he picks me up bridal style and carries me over.

  “I’ll wait outside for you, just give me a shout when you’re done,” he says, as he drops a kiss down upon my forehead.

  “Okay,” I mumble in return, before closing the door and shuffling over to the toilet.

  Everything hurts and aches, I’m beyond tired and I’m so cold. I can’t stop shaking, what is going on? I felt fine yesterday, I don’t understand it at all.

  “Amias,” I try to shout it, but it comes out as a croak. He must have exceptional hearing as he’s coming in and lifting me back into his arms.

  “Do you want me to get you something to eat?” he asks, as he tucks me into my bed but my shaking is getting worse.

  “N-n-no,” I say, my teeth are chattering and I can’t control it.

  “Okay, but if you change your mind just say the word and I’ll get you something. How about some hot chocolate, it might warm you up,” his voice sounds like it's made from melted chocolate and it definitely has a warming effect on me.

  “That sounds nice, I’ll try it. Thank you Amias, you can leave after if you want,” I say in reply.

  “Do you want me to leave?” he asks, and I really can’t be doing with this right now.

  “I don’t know, but I’m not the best person to be around when I’m ill so if I’m a bitch to you, then that’s on you.” I’m warning him, so it’s not my fault if he ends up leaving feeling utterly insulted.

  “Whatever you say love, I think I can handle poorly you. And no, I’m not leaving. You shouldn’t be on your own right now, so you’re stuck with me. Whether you like it or not.” He stares down at me, and I almost want to look away from the intensity.

  “I don’t understand why you’re doing this. Do you feel bound or something, am I just a task to you?” Oh hot damn Henleigh, shut up.

  “I’m doing this because I care about you, and I don’t like seeing you suffer and hurting. You could never be just a task, is that really what you think of me?” I can hear the hurt in his voice and see it in his eyes, is that what I really, truly believe?

  “I warned you what would happen if you stayed,” I say, I’m not ready for him to discover that I know about him and Devon.

  “I will take whatever you have to throw at me, you once said to me that I couldn’t get rid of you well the same principle applies here. I’m not going anywhere, so get used to it.” He sits down on my chair which he has pulled closer to the bed, his tone screams honesty, without his reasoning his words should feel hollow, but they don’t.

  Rolling onto my side, I hate how much his words warm me. I can’t let him be a distraction, and I don’t know if I can forgive him or if he’d even want me to.

  Four

  The flu kicks my arse thoroughly for a week, but at least it’s gone now or pretty much. Amias wouldn’t leave my side and I still don’t know what he’s thinking regarding me, Noah and Elijah. Not that I care of course, I don’t care what he thinks. Maybe if I keep saying it, I might believe it.

  I’m just glad I can get back to classes, I hate being cooped up in my room. I couldn’t read anything because it all hurt my head and eyes, and Amias would only talk about mundane crap, nothing too heavy.

  Sitting in my English class, how can I not be happy that Noah is here with me. Hang on, isn’t he my boyfriend now? We might not have put a title to it, but that’s what it is. Isn’t it?

  “Leighbear, did you hear the news?” He sounds positive, so it has to be good news right.

  “No, I’ve been pretty much on bed rest, I’m entirely out of the loop,” I reply, brushing my fingers over the top of his hand.

  I want to melt when he flips his hand over and links his fingers with mine.

  “Harrison has been taken off the meds to keep him in a coma, it’s all down to him now. They don’t know if he’ll wake up, but it’s got to be good news?” Hopefulness shines back at me, he’s almost childlike in the innocence of his hope. I can’t even remember what that feels like; having hope and believing it still exists.

  “Of course it is, progress is good no matter how small. Does Amias know?” I ask, hating how I can’t stop myself from caring and worry about him.

  “I messaged him earlier, we’re going to grab a quick lunch and walk around the grounds. Apparently, Elijah has the need to take a lot of photos and he won’t let us get out of it,” he says but I can tell he doesn’t mind, Noah will do anything for anyone.

  “Sounds good I’m sorry about last week with the bloody Shepherds, when people find out there’s going to be a lot of stuff thrown our way,” I say, but his smile tells me he doesn’t care about that.

  “Leighbear, their opinions do not matter to me, yours and mine do and neither of us care. I still don’t know if this is something I could do like Lija’s parents have but I’m willing to give it a shot and if it doesn’t work, at least I can say I tried. And I think I would try a lot of things for you.” His eyes sparkle as he looks at me, and his smile matches his eyes entirely.

  “You are one of the most selfless people I know Noah, I think I definitely hit the jackpot with you,” I say as we look at each other, smiling softly.

  “Oh so it’s true, you really are going for anything. I guess the Shepherds have really got you pegged,” utter vitriol is spewing at me and I look up to an unknown face.

  I have no idea who this girl is and I really don’t care if she wants to cast her judgement against us but a lot of people are starting to stare now and the whispering is already beginning.

  “Ignore them, let's just get our classes over with and then we can follow Elijah around and try not to roll our eyes as he makes us do ridiculous poses.” He says with utter mirth in his voice, happy Noah is my favourite kind.

  “Ooh, I could bring my camera,” I say with a cheeky smile.

  “Oh no, there’s two of you,” he says with exasperation before we laugh and class begins.

  “Okay, I’m going to grab my camera and I’ll meet you outside the canteen,” I say with a skip in my step which earns me a laugh from him.

  “Okay Leighbear, do you want me to grab you some lunch?” He asks, which makes my eyes soften and my heart skip a beat, he’s always thinking of me.

  “Yes please Noah bear,” I say softly as I look up at him through my lashes.
<
br />   He’s pulling me into his arms, I love how affectionate he can be. We only brush lips before I’m off, running as fast as my legs will take me. The sooner I grab my camera the sooner we can begin.

  I really shouldn’t be running; I realise this because I am now flying through the air. I can’t believe Chelsea tripped me! I land hard on the floor, throwing my arm out but it only makes things worse.

  “Oh no, are you okay?” a girl asks as she rushes over to me.

  “Yeah, I think so,” I reply, just as she grabs hold of my stinging wrist and twists it.

  Crying out, I can’t understand what’s happening. I don’t even know this girl.

  “Don’t try and claim any other guys you little sket, never thought I’d agree with Chelsea but over you, it’s an easy choice. Back off hoe bag and believe me, your guys won’t be yours for much longer.” She pushes me back into the ground, as her foot hits my ribs before I’m being pulled up and Bella is looking at me with worry on her face.

  “Are you okay?”

  I shake my head, this is only day one of being with two guys, what will happen on day two?

  “Come on, let’s get you to your room and I’ll walk with you to meet your guys,” a slight blush on her cheeks as she says my guys.

  “Has it changed your opinion of me?” I ask, please say no girl, please.

  “No of course not, it’s strange but I get it. The girls though, they can turn nearly anyone, you need to be careful,” she says, as if I need any warning when it comes to the bitches of Padstow.

  My heart comes to a juddering stop as I open my door, I don’t understand it. The floor is littered with dozens of Polaroid’s, Bella is reacting quicker than me. The noises coming from her are filled with shock and surprise, I need to see what they are of. Snatching one up, my head isn’t working right. I can’t make sense of what I’m looking at, but it doesn’t take long for it to sink it. They’re of me, being beaten and left for dead. Those sickos took photographs of it, I feel so relieved that I was unconscious for it all.