You Were Never Honest (The Never Series Book 2) Read online

  “I didn’t choose it, if anything I fought my feelings for so long and it was making me miserable. I had Devlin asking me every day to be his but he’d been like that since we were kids and I always said no. It was Benjamin who I found it hardest to deny, he was this sweet guy who did anything just to see me smile. He asked me out, and I said yes but Devlin took it bad, he couldn’t understand why I would choose him. And I told him it was because I couldn’t bear to lose him and he told me I was on the way to doing just that. He asked why I couldn’t just be with both of them?”

  She stops talking and I’m fascinated, I mean I know how it ends but I want to know how they got here.

  “What did you say? And how did the other two come into it?” I ask and she gives me a sad smile which I can’t understand, the ending is happy.

  “I told him that it wouldn’t be right to be with more than one person, I’d feel like a tart. And I couldn’t share them, so how could it be fair? You don’t get to eat your cake and keep it at the same time, and he kissed me. I was so mad at him that I slapped him across the face and refused to speak to him for a few weeks. But that whole time I couldn’t get that kiss out of my mind and I’m not one for keeping secrets, so I told Benjamin. He looked so hurt, and then Dimitri decided to throw his hat in the ring. If Benjamin and Devlin got a chance, why couldn’t he? So, I did the childish thing and ran. I disappeared for a year and when I was ready to come back, I messaged them all. I told them how I thought I was in love with them, but it was killing me having to choose. And they thought if they could give me the time to work out my feelings, then I would stop running. The problem was it wasn’t just the three of them anymore.”

  “So it was Oscar,” I state, and she shakes her head, okay now I feel really confused.

  “I think that’s enough for tonight,” she goes to get up and I clutch hold of her hand, I want to hear the rest.

  “His name was Jason, and he was the reason I reached out it to the guys, his father had been in a poly amorous relationship and he couldn’t see why the guys wouldn’t share me. He made it clear that we all had to be open to it and know the rules that we ourselves needed to set, so he came home with me and Devlin was the first to welcome him. Dimitri said he would consider it, but he made it clear he would expect me to choose eventually and Benjamin walked away.”

  “I don’t understand, how did you convince them that it was the right thing to do?” I ask, and she laughs wholeheartedly.

  “Oh sweet pea you can’t convince anyone of that, they either come to that realisation themselves or they walk away. The one thing you must know is that your Harem may not stay the same. Some you may lose, and you may even find someone else who completes your heart but it isn’t an excuse to sample every man or woman that takes your fancy. If this is something you truly want, then choose the ones who you cannot imagine being without, the ones who make you feel like you’re finally complete. It may be one guy or five that doesn’t matter, but you can’t have favourites or secrets and you must share your time fairly. Most of all, communication is key.”

  “What if there are three guys I care for, but I’ve already fallen for one? Isn’t that breaking the no favourite rule?” My voice is quiet, I’m so scared to ask this and I can’t look at her. Instead I’m wringing my hands and staring at them as though they hold all the answers.

  “I didn’t fall for all of them at the same time and our bonds are different but the love I feel for them is the same, even if it came at different times. Just whatever happens, try not to hurt my boy. If you can’t see yourself with him, that’s fine, it happens but don’t lead him on. He’s happy and a constant smiler but he breaks just like you and I,” she drops a kiss on my head before leaving me alone.

  I wonder what happened to Jason and how Oscar came onto the scene? Oh well, hopefully she’ll tell me one day and for now I’m going to get some sleep. Today has tired me out more than I realised, I wonder what tomorrow will bring.

  Two

  My three days are coming to an end, I can’t wait to spend some time with Bella but I’m really going to miss Elijah. I need him to know how much I appreciate him bringing me here, I still don’t know what I’m going to do, but things do feel a little clearer now.

  I’m stepping into their dining room when I’m suddenly thrown into the air and engulfed in a bear hug.

  “Nope, you’re not going. Don’t leave me,” such a drama king but it’s making me laugh and soon his Dads are joining in.

  “Definitely you Oscar, ouch,” says Benjamin when he gets an elbow to the gut.

  “Eli put me down before I kick you on purpose.”

  He sets me down with a pout, before he’s smiling at his own antics. What am I getting myself into with this guy?

  “Can I speak to you for a second?” I can hear the nerves in my voice and my eyes are flitting around the room, this has me feeling antsy. A part of me wants to run while another is dying to see where this could go, just a taste of happiness. Surely even I deserve it sometimes.

  “Sure, feel free. Don’t worry about us we won’t listen at all,” says Dimitri as he rests his head in his hands and stares right at us.

  “Come on, we’ll go in the living room,” Elijah says before taking my hand, but Devlin beats us there.

  “Stop making it so difficult for them, go sit in the conservatory and I’ll bring out your breakfast once it’s done,” thank you Elisa, she is Wonder Woman for sure.

  We take a seat on this wicker sofa thing, it’s engulfed in pillows and surprisingly comfy.

  “What’s up, like you know you can’t break up with me right. Seeing as we’re not together,” and now he’s slapping himself in the face.

  Damn I’ve really got him nervous, oh no Eli calm down. I’m not thinking as I kiss him, I need him to shut up and calm down for a second so I can actually speak.

  “Listen, Eli thank you for bringing me here and letting me see you guys in action. I’ve loved getting to know your family and seeing you at home in your element.” A soft smile is gracing my lips and I hope he can see how much I mean this. “I’ve spoken to your Mum, and she helped me realise that wanting more than one guy isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as long as it’s for the right reasons and we can all be honest with one another. I don’t know if this is something I want but I do know that I want you, I just need to know what I can and can’t handle first,” that last part whooshes out almost on one breath. My nerves won’t let me draw this out.

  “Whatever you decide baby, I’ve got your back. You want me and only me I’m down for that and if you want the other two well that is a-okay with me. It helps that I already like them,” he says with a laugh and just thinking about Amias makes my heart hurt and a little harder to catch my breath.

  “The last week with Bella was amazing, we went swimming every day. Went to the movies and did some shopping and spent so much time just chatting away. I can’t wait for school to start, which is shocking me so much right now,” I say on a laugh to Eli down the phone.

  How can I not ring him? I’ve spoken to him on the phone every day since I left his place and now, I have to go back up to Norfolk and spend the rest of my summer with dear old Dad and my Mum, happy days… not.

  Hang on, that isn’t right. Why is Dad driving a hire car, he has his own? Oh no, what has he done to it now?

  “I've gotta go, I’ll call you later,” I say hanging up the phone. Before turning my attention to my Dad. “Dad, what’s going on?”

  “Hennie, I’ve missed you so much,” he says as he wraps me in his arms and I’m loving it. Daddy’s girl through and through.

  “I know you’ve been worried about your friend who’s in the hospital, so I thought we could spend the rest of your holiday here.” He drops a kiss down onto my forehead, before pulling back slightly so he can look at me. “I’m renting a cottage close to the beach and it’s only a short drive to the hospital, and I was thinking, this way, I could maybe meet a few of your friends while I’m here.” This
is making me so happy, but is it too good to be true?

  “Hang on, your serious. I can’t believe it, how did you get Mum to agree?” I ask, but it’s not needed.

  He looks so tired and he can’t even look at me, guess she’s back in rehab already. Mother and wife of the year for sure.

  It’s not long before I’m climbing into the car and he’s driving us to the cottage, it’s so quaint and cosy. Damn there’s even a fireplace, I love this place. Giving Dad another hug, I can feel his sigh blowing through my hair.

  We spend the evening eating pizza and talking about school, I want to tell him about the bullies and the emails but I’m not that stupid. I’m just glad I finally got myself a new email address, at least I won’t have to access the other one anymore. I’ll get Mattias to divert the important emails to me and then I won’t need to know what else those vicious twerps are sending my way.

  The credits are rolling on The Nun and I can’t believe Dad is absolutely sparko. I liked the film, sure it was a little slow to begin with but it made me jump. What more do you want from a horror? I guess I may as well go to bed, but before that I better ring Eli. Oh no, I’m becoming one of those girls. And the scary thing is, I think I like it!

  It feels so surreal, being back here in the hospital. I don’t even know why I’ve come, I just don’t like the idea of him being alone. I can’t help wondering why his parents would leave him here, I’m not going to presume things but it’s their son. Surely one of them could have stayed back to keep him company, what if he wakes up and no one is here?

  “You’re back, it’s so nice to see you girl. How is your break going?” asks Maria and I cannot believe she is hugging me.

  “It’s okay, I’ve spent some time with my friends and I got back yesterday. I would have come sooner but I haven't seen my Dad in a while,” why do I feel guilty as I say this?

  “Don’t worry about it, my favourite patient is doing well, and the swelling seems to be easing. Fingers crossed we’ll have better news when his parents get back.”

  She shouldn’t really be telling me this, but she’s a lover of romance and thinks we’re love's young dream. I am so not going to a good place when I leave this world, oh bugger!

  “Has he had any visitors the last couple of weeks?”

  “Only his cousin, but she had to go home as well. She comes every weekend though, he’s got a good support group. Now you get in there and see your man, I’ll be in shortly to check his vitals,” she pats me on the arm before moving away.

  I can’t believe how peaceful he looks, entering his room and claiming the seat at his bedside, it feels as if he will open his eyes at any moment. I know it can’t actually happen which is good for me really, I don’t think the stress of seeing my face when he first wakes up will be good for him.

  “Hey H, you’ve got a nice five o’clock shadow forming. It’s good to see you and I hear the surgery has had some promising developments. You’ll be back at Padstow and glaring at me in no time, no idea why that’s a good thing right now.” A light chuckle passes my lips as I run my fingers along his scruff. Why am I doing this? I’m asking myself this every time I come here.

  “But if it means you’re getting better, then I’ll deal with it. Some good news, I confronted Devon. The bad part, I felt seven years old again.” My voice sounds almost childlike to me, all my old fears and insecurities rising to the surface. “It was pointless in the fact that I still don’t know what happened that day but he gave me some promising leads. He knows what caused my brother to die, and it didn’t sound like an accident, I just wish I could access the records. Good old Dad had them sealed, but he knows, so maybe he has some proof hidden back at home.” The only issue with that, I’m not sure when I’ll make it back there.

  The door opens and Maria is entering, definitely going to shut my trap right now. It’s giving me a few moments to think and I’m loving where my mind is going right now.

  “Oh H my dear, I’ve had a great idea. All I need to do is convince Noah and Mattias of that fact. If that fails there’s always Mr. Connors. I’m willing to play the long game this time, even if it takes the next two years. I will discover the truth, find out who PastFinder really is and finally right my biggest wrong. I can’t make what I did right, but she needs to know that I’m sorry and if I could, I would do it differently.”

  I’m lying to the guy in a coma, I’m despicable. Of course I’d never want to destroy her, but then I never would have come to Padstow and met my guys. Even if one of my guys is about to get a huge wake up call, the best part, growing up with Devon influenced me terribly. I will get revenge for Amias making me fall for him when it was only a job and I’m going to make him suffer but first, I’ll be his dream come true.

  “Do you think I can do it H, actually hurt him? I mean I know I can, but do I really want to? I guess only time will tell, but he has to know what he did was wrong, he can’t mess with people like that. I really hope you wake up, because I may have a bitch streak but I can’t cause him pain while he’it’s worrying about you. Get better man, I’ll be back soon.”

  Why am I kissing his forehead? Henleigh snap out of it. I have to remember that I don’t actually like this guy, someone help me I think I’m finally starting to lose my mind.

  I’m going to ruin this relaxing day I’m having with Dad, but I have to know. I can’t put it off any longer.

  “Dad, did Noah tell you about his Mum?” I’m trying to sound matter of fact and unaffected, but I don’t think I’m pulling it off.

  “Yes Hennie he did, I’m glad he finally told you. I could see how much you care for one another but I agree with him, it isn’t fair to either of you to embark on a relationship until you know if he has it as well.” He’s looking at me with pity and a sad smile, now I’m getting mad.

  “Oh for crying out loud, it’s Huntington’s Dad why are you two so narrow minded about all of this.” I’m shouting at my Dad and he’s giving me the look that is telling me I’d better calm down before things escalate. “I know it’s hard for him and his Dad having to see his Mum deteriorating and changing before their eyes, but isn’t getting to be with her enough to take on the pain. Dad, I don’t care if he has it or not, I…” my voice breaks and I can’t say anymore.

  He’s pulling me into his arms and I hate that I’m crying right now, when did I become such an emotional sap?

  “My sweet Hennie, are you in love with him?”

  “Yes and it’s killing me, I mean it’s sad whether he has it or not, it doesn’t matter to me. But he won’t have the test done, he says he wants to, but he’s afraid. I understand that I do, but isn’t it better to know? He’s already said if he has it he won’t put me through that, it’s a load of horse shit,” I say, trying to stifle my sobs and get a little composure back.

  “That isn’t your choice to make my girl, and you can’t force him to have it done. It’s his choice and he will have it if or when he decides he’s ready to know. Just be there for him, show him that you mean what you say without any of the added pressure. Just be you, maybe not the version of the latter years though, she’s not very sympathetic.”

  His rubbing his hands up and down my arms as he gives me a look full of love, feels like I stopped getting this look when my brother died.

  “Thanks Dad, I love you too.” I’m sniffling and laughing, it’s not pretty but it’s me and I’m okay with that.

  I hate when he ruffles my hair but I enjoy playing shithead with him and thrashing his OAP arse. Every. Damn. Time. I know he’s only playing it to make me feel better and I appreciate more than any words he could say.

  We spend the rest of the day playing cards, making dinner together but now he’s going to his room to talk to Mum. I can’t talk to her right now and I am surprised that he didn’t ask if I wanted to, even if I am relieved.

  Sitting on my bed, I am wearing the biggest smile when a missed call pops up from both Noah and Elijah. The latter can wait for a minute, I’m missing Noah like c
razy and speaking to him sounds like I’m getting my own little piece of heaven.

  “There’s my Leighbear, how are you?”

  “I’m doing good, I’m actually still down in Cornwall. I think Dad needed a holiday, so he decided to come down here, just me and him,” I say in reply, still smiling like a loon.

  “That’s great, I’m looking forward to seeing you in a few weeks. Padstow has never seemed so good, corny I know.”

  “It’s okay, corny works for you. How’s your mum doing?” I ask, and I can hear the pain as he exhales loudly.

  “She went for my Dad today, she just got so angry over nothing. It was scary and Dad is thinking about cutting my stay short, he doesn’t want me around her when she’s like this. It’ll only upset her and he wants me to keep the good memories clear in my head.”

  “I’m sorry Noah bear, I’m here if you ever need to talk or just get your mind off of it for a little while. Anything to help you,” now I’m being the corny one, but I mean every word of it.

  “Thank you my love.”

  It’s gone very quiet suddenly, he doesn’t usually use names like that on me. It’s always Henleigh or Leighbear, what does it mean? Stop reading into it, more than likely it was just a slip of the tongue.

  “I miss you,” it slips out without any warning but I’m not going to sit here and regret it.

  “I miss you too Henleigh, more than I can say. Can we talk when we get back to school? It’s nothing bad, but you’re the only one I want to talk to about this right now.”

  “Of course we can, whatever you need.”

  We spend a few more minutes talking before he bows out and wishes me a good night. I’m going to finish the night with a chat with my big guy and then I have no idea what. School can’t come soon enough but at the same time, I wish it wasn’t coming around so quick. So many variables out of my control and only a few of them could lead somewhere good.